The Mistake not forgiven
His confrontation:-
“I don’t see why I am writing this, perhaps I am feeling so low and I don’t want to part my feeling with anyone or maybe I lost my hope, my confidence and everything that defines my individuality.
It all started in college where I used to be a high-spirited guy,
always indulged in sports and far away from studies but nor time is constant
neither my nature, I suddenly started adoring someone. I don’t know when it happened
but with time she became everything to me, I worked hard in academics,
sports just to impress her, so that I can prove myself commendable to her. But my destiny wanted something different, some guy I even don’t know who he was created misunderstanding between us by passing fake messages with my name on Facebook and the painful thing was she believed in that and blocked me.
I don’t cognize how one can hurt the person who loves her the most.
But anyway I was adolescent at that point of time so instead of inquiring her I decided I will unblock myself by hacking her account and I did that, that was my biggest
fault of my life, after that I felt remorseful and wanted to confess her, I thought
that she will forgive me, but sometime things never go in a deliberate way or
backfire you. After that I said sorry to her but sorry was only a word that
has no meaning, As time passed I tried so many things to prove her that I am not a jerk, at some extent I was successful she unblocked me in my last year of college. I kept my ego, self-esteem aside and did whatever I can. Sometimes I wept like a baby because there are things in this world which you can’t control. I think whoever said nothing is impossible in this world he forget to include conditions applied.
I also believed in that but in case of her that become impossible for me since I
tried everything, everything just to prove her that It was my fault and I will
at no time do the same.
Whenever I cried my friends used to say bro, you deserve much better , it was so easy for them to say that words but for me she is the only one with whom I want to spend my whole life, our college over and good thing was we both are selected in same company.
We both went to different cities for training, I thought I will
never be able to see her again but god has his own way to give pain as our
base locations are same. I was very excited to see her hoping that now she will
forgive me and at least we can be friends, but again went the way I thought.
At this point of time I gave her so much importance, I made
her so much special that I forget that I am special too for someone, sometimes
we accidentally met in campus, and I believe in all new friends she forgot me,
she never knew there is someone in this world who desired for her happiness
and a great life. Every day I walk around my campus two to three times just to
see her face, her smile and her eyes which can compel anyone to do anything.
My question to god, I don’t have faith in you but others do,
possibly you exist if so than my question to you is why our locations are same
why. Pain, frustration (that I can’t do anything) was that not enough for you in
my college life. One thing I know, doesn't matter how much I can try she will
certainly not be mine.
My reprimand for my mistake is to see her every day, to
think about her every time and to see her happy with someone else. I have lost everything I had, without her I won’t be able to live nor am I able to move on.
I wish she always be happy in her life, may
all her miseries and pain that she will face come to my bucket. And for
me I just want to be strong enough to face her with her husband, the luckiest
guy in the world.
I will not be able love anyone, the way I used to love her and one more thing I learnt only the fortunate people in this world only the luckiest people deserve to live their life with their partner.
I am sure I am not the luckiest one, I wish before she gets married to
someone else I am not there in this world to see this event happening. I don’t know what will be happen in my life when I will be able to come in light form the deep
darkness. I leave all this to my fate let my destiny decide where should I go
and I will do my job with full efficiency, my job means loving her, care for
her and my second love programming.”
"Log to yu hi moth ko badmnaam karte hai, sala taqleef to zindgi deti hai"
“Let my karma decide my fate”
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